But do I love you?
by shewritesthefics
Summary: This is a Frerard. I won't give too much away but there is an incident and one person's true feelings come out into the open. But does the other feel the same way? What will happen to Frank and Gerard? Starts off as quite angst-y and romantic but then becomes quite comical and hopefully enjoyable. Detailed reviews are very welcome! Thanks for reading! :3 category is wrong btw.
1. What happened last night?

CHAPTER 1

FRANK'S POV

My head was throbbing, pain surging to every corner of my mind. There were lips on mine, but I couldn't make out who they belonged to. Or maybe there weren't any lips. I didn't know anything. I could vaguely recall who I was, but as to _where _I was, and _who _was with me, I had no idea. I knew I was about to black out, but I needed to try my best to stay awake. I realised there was no use, as my vision darkened and all I saw before fading to blackness was the faintest, blurry flash of red...

Judging from the heat on my face and the red shade on the insides of my eyelids, I could tell that it was morning. I opened my eyes and my suspicions were confirmed when they were greeted with the sharp sting of the morning light from through the open curtains of the window next to me. The sunlight was warm and inviting, but as I moved I could feel pain seep into my head. When I remembered that I had been out drinking with Gerard and Mikey last night, I realised I clearly had a hangover. Brilliant. But where was I now?

I looked around the room at the many posters of various bands such as The Misfits and Smashing Pumpkins, and then to all the magnificent drawings hung above the desk in one corner of the room. I knew this room too well - it belonged to my best friend of 7 years, Gerard Way. I'd always loved this room since he had moved out of his family house and now lived alone with his brother Mikey (who was 3 years younger than him). I was round here near enough every day, so I might as well say it was my house too. I sighed with relief. Gerard and Mikey had been with me last night, so one of the two had helped the others home. I was grateful to whoever it was.

I saw a flash of red out of the corner of my eye and realised Gerard was in the bed next to me, his ketchup-red hair framing his little face. His eyeliner from the previous night was smudged down his face, so he clearly wasn't the sober one. Mikey must have helped us both home then. The covers were up to Gerard's bare shoulders, and I realised that he was shirtless. It must have been hot during the night, or maybe he had been sick on his shirt. There were red marks all over his neck... hickeys? bruises? I couldn't tell. I hadn't seen Gerard with any girls last night.

That's when I realised that Gerard wasn't the only shirtless one in this bed. I was too. I moved around a little, untangling my legs from his black bedcovers. I wasn't just shirtless. I was 100% naked. And I had a feeling he was too. Holy shit.


	2. Confusion

CHAPTER 2

GERARD'S POV

This had to be the best way I'd woken up in my life. I woke up feeling the nice breeze from outside and the warm sun on my face, listening to the sound of the birds chirping in the tree outside my window. I was lying next to the man of my dreams, the guy I had been friends with for 7 years now and loved for at least 2. And finally last night, I had admitted my love to him. I knew it was a bad idea to admit it when we were both so drunk and in a club, but we had been sitting alone together while Mikey was on the dance floor with some girl, and I had taken it as my once-in-a-lifetime chance. I had grabbed his hand, pulled him outside and round the corner of the club, and then kissed him. He had giggled in that cute way of his and kissed me back, and that's when I had said it.

"I love you Frank, always have, always will".

I remembered the smile on his face when he practically shouted "I love you too, baby" and then proceeded to kiss my face off. After that, things had gotten better and better until it was a full-on makeout session. I was the one to break the kiss when I realised that Mikey was probably still in the club looking for us, so I took his hand and brought him back in. We found Mikey dancing and joined in with him, me recieving an eyebrow-wiggle from him when he saw us holding hands, and me nodding to him. Mikey had known how I felt about Frank since a couple of weeks after these feelings had started, and I could tell that he was happy for us.

After a while of dancing and kissing we went back to the car, and Mikey drove as he was the only one under the limit. We reached our apartment in no time and after thanking Mikey, Frank practically dragged me to my room, shoving me on my bed and straddling me.

We didn't have sex last night, we just kissed nearly all night long until we were both so exhausted we passed out. Yes, we did remove our clothes, but that was mostly because of the heat. We didn't go further than kissing. It was hot but sweet at the same time. It was the best night of my life.

I smiled, eyes still closed, enjoying the feel of the warmth on my face. I heard a shuffling sound and then Frank's voice - "shit shit shit" he was whispering over and over. I opened my eyes and looked to see him sitting on the end of my bed, picking up his shirt from the floor and putting it back on.

"Morning" I said, making him jump and then look towards me. He mumbled the same back and then tossed me my shirt and jeans. "Get dressed".

"Someone's bossy this morning!" I teased, but pulled some boxers out of my drawer and got dressed. We sat in awkward silence for a minute before I decided to start a conversation.

"So, last night was great"

"Yeah it was, pretty damn hung over though"

I laughed a little. "I can tell".

He shot me a sarcastic smile, and I shuffled on the bed until I was sitting on the end next to him. I timidly put my arm around him and felt him stiffen and breathe sharply, but I didn't take my arm back.

"What's wrong?" I asked him, fighting the urge to hug him as he was clearly in some sort of state. He didn't answer for a while, before completely ignoring my question and asking one of his own.

"What exactly happened last night? My head hurts so much" He said.

I was confused. How much didn't he remember? I started listing last nights events, and he would nod if he could remember them. It seemed he remembered everything in the club up until about the point Mikey went to go and dance. The moment when I told him how I felt. I bit my lip, nervously anticipating his answer to my next question.

"So you don't remember anything at all after that?" I asked.

"No" He said, and my face fell. He didn't remember. "Well I do sort of remember one thing" He began, "I remember kissing. But I don't know who. Who did I kiss, Gerard?" He asked.

I felt like crying. Everything was being torn apart. He didn't remember last night.

I let my arm fall away from him, looking down and hiding my face behind my hair, where I silently began to cry.

"Me", I whispered.


	3. I don't know how to feel

CHAPTER 3

FRANK'S POV

Gerard said exactly what I had been expecting him to say. I had been so out of it that I had kissed my best friend last night. And I was straight.

I mean, it would be lying if I said I had never been attracted to guys. During high school, as we all do I went through a bi phase, and I even thought I loved Gerard at one point. When we graduated I sort of came to my senses and pushed all thoughts of Gerard in that way out my mind, it would just be another complication in my life if I was gay as well as the emo loser of this town.

But now I had gone and done it. What if this had ruined our friendship?

The truth is, I was starting to remember a lot more than kissing last night. I remembered kissing down his neck (which explains the hickeys). I remembered the way he looked at me when we were in here together, and when we were dancing together in the club. I remembered when he took me outside and told me he loved me. He really loved me. And I had told him that I loved him too. A lie? No. But did I just love him as a best friend? Or more? I didn't know. I really didn't know what to do.

That's when I heard him quietly sobbing next to me, hiding his face behind his bright red hair. I could remember the day he dyed it, it had been a dare from our friend Ray and I had helped him do it, but he had kept it since, cause believe it or not, it suited him and looked really nice. My heart broke to see him crying next to me, but I was so uncomfortable and unsure of all of this that I couldn't trust myself to be too close to him right now. Would I realise I love him? Or wouldn't I, would I get mad at him and say something I'd regret?

I decided to try to calmly talk to him. He needed to know the truth.

"I lied, I remember more" I said. He stopped sniffing and looked up a little, but still tried to hide his face even though I had obviously noticed his crying already.

"W-what?" He mumbled.

"I remember everything, Gee".

He looked up to me, a flash of hope now in his tear-covered eyes. It hurt me to bring him up and shoot him down, but I had to tell him.

"I don't know how I feel about it. I know I said I love you too but I don't know if that's just in a friend way or not" I said. "I'm not gay..."

"I understand" he said, looking up properly at me now, the wobble gone from his voice. "I shouldn't have chosen such a bad time to tell you, please don't feel bad about this, you can work out your feelings and if you are sure you're straight, I'm okay with that".

I knew it took some guts to say this, no matter how much it may hurt him. I didn't care how uncomfortable I was now, he was my best friend and I was always going to be the best friend I could be for him. I brought him into a hug, holding him close to me.

"Thankyou" I said, and we stayed hugging for a while.


	4. Can I try something?

CHAPTER 4

GERARD'S POV

It had been 2 months now since that night, and I guess things were almost back to the way they were. Of course, I still loved Frank more than life itself, but he needed time to figure out his sexuality and how he felt about me, so I would give him that.

I tried to make things as normal as possible for him, never mentioning what had happened, and making sure we settled into our regular routine. I told Mikey about the situation and so he never brought up anything either. I still sat on the couch next to Frank on our regular movie nights, but not _as _close as before, as I didn't want to cause him any discomfort. Especially since before that night, he had thought that I was straight. All those years, I had never told him about my sexuality.

FRANK'S POV

Today was a Sunday, and we were sitting on my bedroom floor while I was helping Gerard with some paperwork. He attended the art college down the road and got the bus there four times a week, and starting tomorrow would be doing some exams to get an overall grade. I was helping him fill out the necesarry paperwork to be allowed into the exam, and we were sitting on cushions opposite eachother, papers scattered all around us.

I had in my hands a clipboard with a sort of identity questionairre on it to give him some ideas about what he could draw as the theme was Identity, and I was asking him some of the questions on the list.

"Name?" I asked. He rolled his eyes.

"Gerard Arthur Way"

"Gender?"

"You're seriously asking that? Male!"

"You sure?" I asked, earning a punch on the arm. "Well, alright then.." I laughed, ticking the 'male' box.

"Best friend?"

"Mikey Way and Frank Iero"

"Hey, why does Mikey get to be first?"

"I've known him longer!"

"He's your brother! I should be first, cause I'm positively amazing" I grinned. He rolled his eyes again and sarcastically said "sure you are...". I wrote both Mikey and I down, but put my name first. Ha.

I carried on asking him the questions for a while before he got an idea for a drawing. I handed him the clipboard and he clipped some cartridge paper to it, and then grabbed a pencil, starting to sketch - a look of pure concentration on his face. We had one of our favourite Misfits albums playing in the background so I silently sang along to that for a while, before my mind began to wonder.

Ever since it had happened 2 months ago, all I could think about was that one night. The way it had felt to be with Gerard. I had spent these two months trying to figure out whether I had liked it and whether I liked him like that, and I won't lie, I think the answer to both is yes. But I needed to be sure before I told him, and I had been working out ways to find out. I had tried watching gay porn but I had never really watched straight porn before that anyways, porn didn't appeal to me. It was just some sluts behind a camera fake moaning. Nothing special really.

I had tried to look for little things I liked about Gerard like the way he bit his tongue when he concentrated (like he was doing now), his cute little giggle, and of course, his flawless looks. All of these things appealed to me, but I still couldn't tell if I _loved _him for them. I needed to try something else.

I looked at Gerard again to see him still concentrating, not biting his tongue now, but biting his lip. Those soft lips of his... I could still remember the way it felt to kiss them. That's it! What I needed to do was kiss him again. That way I would know if I had any feelings for him. And I needed to do it now.

"Um, Gerard" I began. He looked up to me, waiting for me to finish.

"Can I try something?"


	5. I now know

CHAPTER 5

GERARD'S POV

Ok. What is happening. The first thing I knew was that Frank asked if he could try something. Confused, I just said 'yes'. He had started moving towards me, taking the clipboard and pencil from my hands and flinging them away somewhere in the room.

Then he was right infront of me, grabbing my face with his hands and bringing it towards his.

He was kissing me. Frank Iero was kissing me! Did this mean he had figured out his feelings? No, he had said he wanted to try something. This was merely an experiment. Even so, I couldn't help but enjoy it. His lips were so soft on mine despite the fact that he was kissing me almost hungrily, over and over again bringing his lips back to meet mine. I felt his tongue on my bottom lip and opened my mouth, allowing his tongue entry. He explored my mouth, and _damn, _it felt so good. I couldn't help but moan and then realise what I had done, and I expected him to stop immediately and leave, freaked out. But this seemed to only make him go faster, and I was struggling to keep up and kiss him back.

Our tongues fought for dominance and finally I won, bringing my tongue into his mouth and swirling it around his. He moaned a little, only really quietly, but he still moaned. Oh my fucking god. He was actually enjoying this.

That's it! I thought, bringing my hands up into his hair and pulling, but not enough to hurt him. I brought myself as close as possible to him and felt his hands reach my sides, caressing my hips. I didn't ever want this kiss to end.

FRANK'S POV

I love him. I realised this the second we kissed, the second I felt his lips on mine. This is why I had felt so weird over the past 2 months, I had really just needed him to be mine without knowing. But now I did know, and I wasn't going to let him go. I realised our 7 year friendship had blossomed into something new, and all I wanted was to be with him and call him mine. The kiss was desperate and forced at first but he was kissing back, and carefully I slowed down a little, enjoying it. It didn't stay slow for long though as he took this as his opportunity and but his tongue into my mouth, moving closer to me and tangling his hands in my hair. It felt amazing. I found myself bringing my arms to his sides, gently stroking his hips.

After what I was guessing was a fairly long time but only felt like seconds, we broke apart. He looked at me, clearly not sure what to say. I knew it was my time to speak, to tell him how I felt. I still didn't think I was completely gay as I could never see myself being with any other guy, but for him, I would be whatever I needed to be. He awkwardly moved and started to reach his hand out to pick up the clipboard, but I stopped him and took both his hands in mine. He looked up to me and I smiled, and he smiled back at me. It was so cute. The moment I didn't even know until now that I had been waiting for was finally here.

I was ready to spend my life with him, if he'd have me.

I looked into his eyes, making sure he was looking back into mine.

"I love you, Gerard"

"...I don't love you"


	6. Mikey

**You guys are gonna hate me for this... I should've made it more interesting from this bit. I'm sorry that you were probably expecting something really dramatic or something, I'll make it up to you. I'm coming up with a bunch of ideas to really make this story more shocking and so I will update chapters more and make it better. Thanks for reading! x**

CHAPTER 6

FRANK'S POV

I instantly dropped his hands.

"You.. WHAT?!" I said, a bit too loudly so it was almost shouting. Had this all been a lie? Was this a game? Was he messing with me?!

Gerard erupted into a fit of uncontrollable laughter that must have lasted a good few minutes while I just sat there, fuming.

"Your face!" He laughed. Confused, I harshly said "What?".

He started to calm down now, trying to be serious again and taking my hands.

"Of course I love you too, you know I do, I was kidding" He said. I filled with rage. He had lied just to freak me out. I was so angry, but at the same time, couldn't help but find myself laughing. Annoyed at the harsh humour of it all, I launched myself at him, shouting:

"You're going down Way!"

I tackled him to the floor, straddling him to stop him getting up and then holding both of his arms above his head with one of mine. I then proceeded to tickle him with the other hand, making him giggle and squirm beneath me. I may be short, but I was strong. Strong enough to completely overpower him so that he was at my mercy. After a while there were tears pouring down his face and he couldn't stop laughing.

"Please Frank! I'm sorry! You win!" He shouted. I tickled him under the chin once more, and then kissed him on the lips. It was still weird kissing a guy and would take some getting used to, but I knew that I wanted to be with him.

After I kissed him, I stood and helped him up. His hair was messed up from rolling around on the floor and I giggled at the red locks awkwardly hanging over his eyes. I reached out and pushed them away from his eyes, and he smiled at me.

"I wasn't kidding you know, I really do love you" He said to me.

"I love you too, Gee. I know that now" I replied, and pulled him closer to me, holding him.

"Awww and I love you too, guys!" came a voice from the door. We both turned and looked to see Mikey standing in the doorway, smiling at us. "Sorry, I heard the laughing and came up to see what was going on. About fucking time you two got together!" He laughed. Gerard turned to me and whispered in my ear of his plan. I nodded and we both ran to his bed, picking up all the cushions.

Mikey's eyes widened in fear and he turned to run.

"ATTAAAAAACK!" Gerard and I both screamed, running after Mikey and throwing all of the cushions at him. We chased him into the living room, all picking up cushions and launching them at eachother until we all landed in a heap on the floor, laughing hysterically until our stomachs ached and we couldn't breathe.

I really loved my life.


	7. How do I tell them?

CHAPTER 7

Frank's POV

Gerard and I had been together for a week now. Everything was going fine and I was happy, until he said one thing.

"Frankie, I think we should tell them"

For a week now we had managed to keep our relationship between only me, Gee and Mikey. I liked it that way. But by 'them', Gerard meant that he wanted me to come out. To tell his family, my family, and to be a couple in public. Infront of everyone.

Being the 'emo' kids of our college wasn't easy, it came with a lifetime of bullying which often resulted in a heap of pain, mental and physical. Being gay emos could only make things worse. I knew that I loved him, but I loved him in secret. I only wanted to be known as straight to everyone else. He practically begged though, and I knew he really wanted this. In the odd classes we'd have sitting next to eachother I'd feel him reach for my hand under the desk and try to hold it. I had let him a couple of times when there was no way anyone could see our hands, but if I thought it was too risky, I would pretend I hadn't noticed him. I could tell this upset him, but I really didn't want people to know.

I felt like such a bad person, I was just constantly rejecting him whenever he tried to show me even a little affection in public. But it was just too hard. I couldn't do it.

Gerard's POV

Just as I thought. Frank said nothing. I stared at the text I had sent him over an hour ago. "Frankie, I think we should tell them". He clearly didn't want to. But why? Was he embarassed to be with me?

I knew he'd never be that cruel. He just wasn't ready, and he was scared of coming out to people. But he needed to understand that I'd be there for him no matter what, and we'd get through whatever happened to us together. It would mean the world to me if he would just do this. I decided to call him. The phone dialled for a minute before he finally picked up.

"Hey" He said.

"Hi, maybe we should talk" I replied.

"Yeah, you speak first"

"Ok, I know you're uncomfortable about this but I really think we should be able to tell people we're together, it makes me feel like you're embarassed of me cause you don't want anyone to know" I sighed.

"Oh Gee you know I'm not embarassed about you, I'm just scared about what will happen when everyone knows. Aren't you scared?"

"Of course I'm scared Frankie. But we can get through this together. Besides, there's only 5 days left of college before the 2 week holiday so we can be away from people for that" I reasoned with him. There was silence for a moment before I heard him sigh.

"Tomorrow's Monday, right?" He asked.

"Yeah"

"Ok, I'll tell them tomorrow, starting with our group"

I felt a grin spread across my face. Finally!

"Thankyou so much Frankie! I love you!"

"You're welcome and I love you too. I better go now, I'll see you tomorrow"

"Bye Frankie!"

"Bye Gee"

He hung up. So tomorrow it would be. Surely he could survive for 5 days, and then when we got back after the holidays it would be old news. We'd be fine.

...Wouldn't we?


	8. Confessions

CHAPTER 8

Gerard's POV

The day passed unbearably slowly. I recieved the results of my exams - all Cs. Art college really isn't working out for me at the moment.

Maybe it would be more bearable if I had Frank here, but he was more of a musician and went to a college in the next town. Every day would pass slowly until I got to meet up with him and the others at our usual place - the coffee shop. Today was the day that we were going to tell the others that we were together. I was so proud of Frank for doing this, and I knew if he recieved any problems from anyone over this, I would stand up for him and do all I could to protect him. I was just so happy that we were finally together.

After a very slow and insanely boring day, the final bell rang and we were all allowed to go. I returned the piece I had been working on to my workspace, making sure I had cleaned out all my brushes before I left. _Frankie would like this painting! _I thought, as I admired it, and then turned and walked out of the door. I walked straight to my car outside and got in, reversing out and onto the road. This guy in a sports car nearly drove straight into mine, and flipped me off before driving away. Charming.

The journey seemed to go as slow as the day had, but eventually, I arrived at the coffee shop. I walked in to find everyone except Frank there, but he was usually late as he had a longer journey.

"Hey bro" Mikey smiled at me. Bob and Ray also said hello to me, and I returned it. I sat down and rested my legs on the table, making sure I had an empty seat next to me for Frank. We got into a heated discussion about the latest song releases, and eventually, Frank walked in. He looked amazing today, his short (but not too short!) hair was spiked at the back and straightened at the front. He was wearing just a hint of red eyeliner, an old black top and some black skinnies with chains on them. I looked down at myself, thinking I should have made more of an effort, as I was just wearing my dark grey skinnies and a plain black hoodie. Oh well.

Frank's POV

I couldn't deny that when I walked in, Gerard was the only person I saw. His red, chin length hair was framing his face perfectly as always, and he was sitting with his legs up on the table, wearing his grey jeans and his black converse. He was wearing just a plain black hoodie and had his hand firmly grasped over a hot mug of coffee. He had more eyeliner on today, too. He looked really good.

I breathed in as I walked over, as I knew what was coming. We'd have to tell them today. Everyone in this coffee shop that I pretty much saw on a daily basis would know that I was gay. But for Gerard, I would do this.

"Hey guys" I said, smiling. They all said hi back and I took my seat next to Gerard. He looked unsure at me, as if thinking that I was going to back out. I couldn't blame him, but he was wrong. I wasn't going to back out. I took his hand and held it tightly, and he grinned back at me. I turned back to the others and couldn't help but laugh when I saw Ray's and Bob's faces. They looked exactly the same, both a perfect picture of shock.

"Y-you guys are...?" Bob stuttered. Oh no, he wasn't homophobic, was he?

"Yes, we're together" I said back, as confidently as possible. Bob's face softened (as did Ray's), and they both smiled back at us.

"Awesome, happy for you guys" Bob said, and Ray nodded in agreement. And that was it really, the conversation carried on as normal. Gerard even kissed my cheek, and not one person flinched or blinked an eye at it. Maybe the world was finally becoming more accepting. Maybe we'd be fine.

That evening went great, and soon we were on our way back to Gerard's. Now that we were together, we spent most of our time at eachother's apartments. Mikey didn't mind me being there with them. We reached their apartment and we turned on the TV. Batman was on and Gerard squealed, so Mikey and I allowed him to watch it. He spent the whole film quoting every line. It was cute.

After the film, we were stuck wondering what to do next. That's when I had an idea.

"I'm gonna call my parents and tell them about us" I said. I was extremely nervous about doing this, but maybe it would turn out like it had with Bob and Ray.

"Don't do it over the phone, we can drive to your parents' house if you want" Gerard said. I agreed and Mikey said he was gonna stay in and order a pizza for when we get back, and pick some more films to watch. The drive was fairly quick, and eventually we reached my parents' house. Gerard kissed me once while we were in the car.

"Good luck" he said, and smiled at me.

"Thanks, we'll be fine" I said back, and we got out the car, walking up the path and to the front door. We knocked and heard footsteps as someone approached the door.


End file.
